Sometimes (a lot of the time) I feel like I'm out of control. Out of control with my life - not knowing what's next for me; definitely out of control with eating; out of control with more-of-the-same-feelings - like I'm in a rut that I can't get out of; out of control with worrying about things that haven't even happened yet - just scenarios that I make up in my mind that aren't even true - like I will be alone for the rest of my life, and I will always be fat so why even try to lose weight coz I'm only going to fail. It's time to stop.
It's well past the time for me to regain control of my life. I only get one shot and I'm letting fat dictate my future. Why? I'm the one that's in control. I have the power to turn my life around for the better. I have the power to be the best me that I can be.
I need to develop a more positive attitude. I used to think that I had a pretty great attitude until I gained the weight back. Until I became an empty-nester and suddenly found myself alone, fat and feeling unwanted. I need to quit worrying about things that I have no control over and focus on the things that I CAN control.
Here are several things that bother/worry me and what I CAN do about it:
Empty Nest - Continue to do things with my DD at least once a week, talking (more like texting) daily. Realize that just because she moved out on her own that she is still my daughter, will always be, and still needs me, just in a different way. Be thankful that we are still very close.
Pity party that I'm alone - Take advantage of all this free time to feather my nest and to continue working on myself inside and out so that when Mr. Right does come along that I will be the most amazing girlfriend to one lucky man.
Fat - Focus on one day at a time, instead of the overwhelimg big picture. Discover new LF/LC recipes that I can make so I don't get bored with food. Exercise at least 5 days a week that will help me to lose weight and also greatly improve my mood.
Exercise - Look at it as somthing that I get to do, instead of looking at it as a chore. Remember how I used to love to walk and how it was my me-time and would never fail to clear my mind - almost like meditation. Be thankful that even though I'm obese that I have no aches and pains and my body still works for me. Exercise to "give back" to my body.
Worrying about what I don't have - Focus on what I DO have and what is going right in my life. Write in gratitude journal daily.
Dreading the holidays now that I live alone - Still decorate for the holidays and listen to holiday music. I can still have people over for get togethers and baking parties with my DD and sister. At Christmas time I can get out and look around in the stores (even if my shopping is done) to keep in the Christmas spirit. Ride around listening to holiday music and look at Christmas lights. Go to a play or choral concert with friends. Create new traditions.
Just because my life is changing doesn't mean it has to be bad. In fact, I can make it pretty awesome, if I try.
How exciting to be on the precipice of beginning a new phase of your life. Think of all the things that you have to look forward to in the coming years. Enjoy nesting in your empty nest; find beautiful treasures to make you happy and display them where you can see and enjoy them every day.
ReplyDeleteExercise really will make you feel better and if you used to love walking, get your shoes on and get back out there. Walking is the best activity you can do for your overall health and well being and you can do it every day, rain or shine, for 30 minutes. I love to walk, especially at this time of year.
Hang in there and be good to yourself. You've gone through a lot of changes--good and bad--and it takes time to settle into your new spot in the world.
Sure wish you lived close--I could use a good walking buddy!
Mel, thanks for your wisdom, as always. I wish we lived close, too; I'm sure we'd become great friends. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll get back to loving exercising again once you get in a groove and look forward to that "me time" and the great feeling after you've done it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe some volunteer work will help you feel less alone, and also make you appreciate what you have in your life? Just a thought.