Happy Long Weekend!

I cannot wait until this workday is over with. Four day weekend, baby!

I don't have any set plans, just playing it by ear. Tuesday is my birthday (I turn 45...damn, I'm getting old!) and my DD is treating me to a mani/pedi and lunch.  I'm going to treat myself to something this weekend - I'm thinking it's going to be Paul Mitchell hair products.

I'm thinking of joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) group where you pay a certain amount for several weeks (either 6 or 11) and then every week you pick up a box of fresh, local, organic produce.  I've just discovered one close to me and it has great reviews.  You can even add organic meat, eggs and milk, if you'd like. They do it year round since they grow in green houses, too. It's all new to me, so I'm still thinking it over. Anyone else have any experience with CSAs?

Have a great, relaxing weekend everybody!

So-called Diet Desserts

I kind of feel like the Food Police talking about this, but I wonder if others are coming across the same thing of people being oblivious to what they are really eating.

 

 

Last evening my sister sent me the picture above with the text, "Diet cheesecake...can you believe it?"

The first thing I thought was, "No, I don't believe it." I asked her what was in it and she said FF cottage cheese, RF cream cheese, RF sour cream, FF caramel sauce on top. I asked her what the brown stuff was on top and she said that it was 2 Health Bars chopped up!!!  HOLY HELL!  How can someone really believe that this is "diet" food and that it's good for you??  She also told me that she made "diet" pimento cheese spread.  How can you make pimento cheese diet? It's cheese and mayo and you spread it on bread. Ummm, no.

Keep in mind that my sister is about 80 pounds overweight, and her husband, although slim, has heart disease and is pre-diabetic. He is the kind of man that wants a hearty full course meal, every meal, of meat and potatoes and a new dessert every day. She likes to cook and is always scouring recipe books for new things to make. She is another that sticks her nose up at primal eating, because she doesn't understand it, has no desire to understand it, and because she eats things that are too complicated. By that I mean that she wants to eat casseroles and foods with too many ingredients and then complains that it's too hard to count calories. I tried to tell her that she's making it too hard. She needs to eat whole foods. A lean protein, lots of vegetables and a little fruit and nuts. Too boring for her, I guess. Well, I'd like to eat the casseroles and sauces and desserts, too, but I know that I cannot eat that way and be healthy and expect any kind of weight loss. I also cannot eat that way without cravings and overeating.

In my opinion, I need to stay away from all "makeover" desserts (and foods for that matter) and stick with whole foods. You're only fooling yourself with the makeovers and I believe that you'll still get cravings from those foods, because they still contain sugar and fat (I looked up the cheesecake recipe out of curiosity and it has 15 grams of fat per slice!  Told you I felt like the Food Police.)

A while back, and only for a minute, I contemplated making desserts/pancakes out of the "fake" flours (almond, coconut, buckwheat) but I decided that would put me on a slippery slope to allowing more and more of the things that I should be staying away from that could cause cravings, and therefore, cause binging. Maybe one day I'll be able to eat those foods, but not now.

I've gotten off track a little about people not realizing what they are actually eating and how so-called "diet" desserts, that for the most part, still aren't good for you.  I think a lot of people, my sister for one, are in denial of how bad the food that she's eating really is because:  1) she still wants to be able to eat it and believe/tell herself it's healthy while still indulging   2) she likes to cook, and especially bake, and she can if she still has this way of thinking  3) she wants to "take care of" her family and show her love with food.

I think that for the most part it's denial.  There may be some people out there who can indulge in these types of foods and still remain slim and healthy but I think they're most likely people who do not have food addictions.

Of course, this is only my opinion, what are your thoughts on so-called "makeover, diet" desserts/foods?

Feeling Better

I think I've finally gotten all of the crap out of my system and my cravings are gone for the most part and I've almost lost the 3 pounds that I put on with the Italian Ice fiasco. I'm just plugging along and trying to get back into the exercise groove.  Boy, it's hard to get back into it when you've slacked for a while. I've been walking a little and doing squats and kettlebell exercises for my arms. When I did the squat challenge I saw a difference in my butt, so I want to do squats a couple times a week to maintain it.

I was looking in my closet the other day and realized that I need to get some fall and clothes.  I don't have much that actually fits, the pieces are either too small or too big.  I also need to get some fall shoes.  I do, however, have my glorious new Dooney and Bourke fall handbag that my DD gave me for an early birthday present.  I was so excited when I got it, I just sat there and looked at it. The new leather smell was intoxicating :)

 

 

Over the weekend my DD went to the orchard and bought some apples and asked me to make homemade applesauce with her and to can it.  Can it?  I'd never canned anything in my life. But, thanks to Mr. Google and Mrs. Internet we made homemade pink applesauce and canned it and it came out perfectly.  The only sugar that we added was 1/3 cup of Red Hot cinnamon candies to the whole batch of applesauce.  I was so proud of us canning for the first time and all of our lids sealed as they were supposed to :)

 

 

 

Monday we're supposed to work even though it's Labor Day.  It's a paid holiday for us that we take at Christmas break so we get more time off while the students are gone. There are classes on Labor Day, so we have to work. I've decided to take a vacation day Labor Day and take off Tuesday, the 3rd, which is my birthday.  I've taken off those two days ever since I started working here; why stop now?  I don't have any plans right now, but I'm going to do something. Four day weekend. WOOT!

 

That's all I have for now. make it a great day!

 

Owning it.

I'm owning that I'm a sugar addict. 

I'm also owing that I went of the primal path and bought a box of Italian ices last week. 

I was wanting something sweet and light with low calories and fat so I quickly chose these on my sweep through the grocery store:

The box said gluten free, fat free, excellent choice of vitamin C.  I couldn't go wrong. Or could I?

I inhaled 2 at one sitting.  Not long after that I found myself rummaging around for something else sweet, crunchy, salty... something!  But I had nothing sweet or crunchy or salty. I am eating primally now (aren't I?) so I had nothing in the house that would satisfy that craving. So I overate on what I did have, which was healthy, but still, I was over eating and I knew it. I knew it while I was doing it. But I couldn't stop. I was an addict that craved another hit. Another hit of those mouth-wateringly delicious orange Italian ices.

In the course of two days I ate all six of them. I later noticed the sugar content on the nutrition label. 20 GRAMS OF SUGAR IN EACH CUP.  Holy shit!!! According to MyFitnessPal I'm only supposed to be eating 34 grams of sugar a day.  Look at the quote at the bottom of the picture above:  "The flavor is so delicious you'll want another."  They weren't joking either.

 

 

20 grams of sugar in each cup.  No wonder they were good. 

 

Look at the ingredients - there are three kinds of sugar listed, but yet it was labeled as being "healthy" because it had vitamin C, low calories and was gluten and fat free.

 

I gained 3 pounds during this sugar fiasco and am now in the process of detoxifying.  Getting the poison out of my system that made me feel like crap; made me sluggish and sapped my energy; the sugar that I am addicted to. The sugar that I can not be trusted to have even in small amounts.

 

I know the feeling of eating primally when you feel fully in control and proud of your choices. The feeling of no guilt and endless energy. The feeling of clean eating. It feels wonderful. This sugar binge was surely not worth not feeling that way just for a taste of something that only lasted minutes.

 

Learn from it and move on. This is a learning process that never ends. Lesson learned here. I'm taking my power back.

 



Randomness

Not much happening on the weight loss front - just plugging along. I feel like I don't really have much to say or contribute anymore (blog wise) and I'm not really into blogging lately. I think I will drop posting to twice a week. I'm still keeping at the weight loss but my groove for blogging is waning, as it sometimes does.

I've decided to rent a booth space in an antique-y mart that is near my house.  I'm going to sell my furniture re-dos and makeovers.  People have been telling me all along that I should sell them so I've decided to give it a try. I really enjoy doing it and it's a relaxing hobby for me. The booth rental is on a month-to-month basis, and is cheap, so if it doesn't work out, no big deal. Right now I'm on a waiting list with about ten people ahead of me so that will give me time to build up merchandise. I know a couple of people that currently have booths in this space and they're doing well. It's worth a try.

I made a big pot of vegetable soup the other day so I would have that to eat off of all week. Man, was it good. I ate 3 big bowls that day and had to stop myself from eating more. I felt compelled to keep eating it even though I was full. I wonder if it had anything to do with the few potatoes that I threw in it for heartiness.  Hmm...

My DD is coming over this evening to bring me my early birthday present (my birthday is September 3). She was too excited and couldn't hold back telling me what she got me. It's this Dooney and Bourke purse. We've both been drooling over them for a while now and she told me that she thought I deserved to have a beautiful handbag so she bought this for me.  I really wanted this one, which is the one that she ordered, but when it came it was the wrong one, so I'm going to check it out this evening and see if I want to keep this one or exchange it for the other. So exciting and what a wonderful surprise!

Well, that's it for now.  I'm going to catch up with everyone this afternoon.

Building the New

This is a good message for me in many areas of my life.  Sometimes I feel like I keep looking back to what is familiar, instead of looking forward and building the new.

Today I have a couple NSVs to share:

Last evening I walked for an hour and 15 minutes. Yes! The weather was very mild and refreshing and it felt good to be outside.

I made a conscious effort to drink more water yesterday and will again today.

This morning it was chilly on my way to work (51° - WTH? It still is summer, isn't it?) so I dug out a cardigan that I haven't worn since the beginning of spring and it is almost too big to wear. It is saggy under the arms and definitely "longer" since the last time I wore it. With my stall lately, I forgot that I still have lost 30 pounds. Nice reminder and motivation that I needed.

Do any of you have this Tupperware microwave egg cooker?  If not, get one!  Since I went primal, I eat eggs almost every morning and I need to make them fast before I head out to work and I use this thing often.  This morning I made a delicious, fluffy, perfectly cooked feta cheese omelet in two minutes. Nothing sticks! It slides right out no matter what ingredients you have in there.  The best part is there is no pan to clean.

I have an appointment to get a haircut after work. I'm in desperate need.  I'm going to a new guy that is supposed to be really good and I'm anxious to see how it comes out.  Wish me luck!

Tightening My Grip

Not much happening, so I don't have much to report; just journaling, really.

The weather has turned cool here, it's only supposed to be in the mid 70s for the next 5 days. It is sunny and gorgeous, though - perfect weather for walking so I'm going to log a couple miles this evening.

I haven't weighed for a while, TOM is here and I'm bloated. I've been giving the scale too much power in the past couple of months and driving myself crazy with maintaining when I want to be losing. I need to set myself some mini goals and concentrate on them instead of the scale.

Here are some things that I want to concentrate on weekly:

Drink more water. (I noticed yesterday afternoon around 5:00 that I only had one cup of coffee and one bottle of water all day. Wth? No wonder my energy is waning.)

Be more diligent on my food logging, calorie counting and portion control. (I've been slacking in this area and it's too easy to overeat without realizing it.  It's a pain for me to get out the iPad and log in MyFitnessPal every time I want to log my food so I'm going to buy a pretty notebook and give that a try.)

Get back to exercising at least 5 days a week.  I was on a good routine there for a while, but then started exercising only when I'd feel like it. Mistake. That makes me lazier. When I exercise I have more energy and feel better, so the more I exercise, the more I want to. Just do it. I used to have an almost obsessed feeling about exercise (particularly walking) and would get pissed if it would rain and I couldn't go. I was my me time. My meditation time. I want that feeling back.

I feel good, other than decreased energy (which I can easily solve). Eating is good. I need to buy less produce at a time and bite the bullet and make more trips to the grocery store. I've noticed that for the past 2 months I've been throwing away around $15-20-ish a week in fresh produce that goes bad before I can eat it. That's gotta' stop. It's hard to buy/cook for one person.

For those of you that count calories/track your food - how do you do it?  Maybe one of you have a great idea that I'll have to steal ;)

That's it for now. Make it a great day!

Auction Action

I had a fun weekend. Friday I went to the auction house with my sister and her husband. We all got some great deals. I bought my daughter a desk and a glider for her deck (with cushions) for $5 each! The stuff was nice and nothing wrong with it, people just didn't want it. I got some other random stuff at great prices. I enjoy seeing what stuff goes for and looking at the vintage items, not to mention the energy of the auction.

There was a cute guy that I noticed (a little younger than me) working at the auction who I saw (and could feel) looking at me from time to time. When I'd look at him, he'd give a shy smile. Well, a few hours later he came up to me and started talking and slightly flirting.  By slightly flirting I mean that he didn't say anything out of the way, he was just being friendly talking about the items, but you could tell that he was kinda' flirting with his eyes and smile. You know what I mean, you just get a vibe from people and know whether there is an attraction or not. He also leaned in when he was talking and asked me if it was my first time coming there, blah, blah, blah... (awkward small talk). Then right before he walked away he smiled real big, blushed and dropped his head. It was so cute. There was also an awkward pause before he walked off, like he was wanting to say something more but decided against it. We only had a minute to talk because the auction was busy and he had to get back to work.

None of this sounds particularly interesting separately but add them up and I think maybe, just maybe, he was working up to hitting on me. At first I thought: Don't flatter yourself, he's just being friendly. Who'd want to flirt with you? You're not attractive to men anymore, especially someone younger...

Then a few minutes later my sister told me that she saw that he made an effort to come talk to me and thought that he was hitting on me and saw him blushing. (I didn't know, but she witnessed the whole thing.) I didn't see this man approach or talk to any of the other women there, and there were alot. Was he attracted to me or just being friendly?  Am I over analyzing this petty incident? Hell yes. It's been so long since I've gotten even a tiny bit of attention in that way from men that I wanted to savor every minute of it, whether it was imagined or not.

I glanced around for him before I left the auction but didn't see him. I just might have to go to the next auction and scope him out a little better ;)

At any rate, this is definitely great weight loss motivation. Stay tuned for the continuing saga...

Hurray for Friday

Out at noon today - yes! I only have one more Friday to get out and noon and then school starts back and we revert back to the M-F, 8-5 schedule.

After work I'm meeting my sister at an auction house where they have estate auctions every couple of weeks. We go every once in a while and it's great fun. We usually end up getting some good deals and I love to see what stuff goes for. It's about time that I get out and do something.

Not much to report, just plugging along. Have a wonderful weekend, all! :D

The Purpose Driven Life

I've been wanting this book for some time and I came across it in a thrift store the other day so I snatched it up for $1.00. JACKPOT!

The book is about creating a spiritual journey, which I'm really into, but as I was flipping through the book last evening, I realized that a lot of these principals can be applied to weight loss as well as other parts of our lives that have to do with change (For me: empty nest, divorce, mid-life crisis (sometimes I think I'm having one) and transitioning to a new phase in my life).

Here are a few excerpts that I wanted to share:
____________________

Growth is often painful and scary.  There is no growth without change; there is no change without fear or loss; there is no loss without pain.  Every change involves a loss of some kind.  You must let go of old ways in order to experience the new.  We fear these losses even if our old ways were self-defeating, because like a worn out pair of shoes, they were at least comfortable and familiar.

Believe God is working in your life even when you don't feel it.  Spiritual growth is sometimes tedious work, one small step at a time.  Expect gradual improvement.  The Bible says, "Everything on earth has its own time and its own season."  There are seasons in your spiritual life, too. Sometimes you will have a short, intense burst of growth (springtime) followed by a period of stabilizing and testing (fall and winter). (I feel that I'm in the fall and winter stage in so many parts of my life.)

Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go.  You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.

Be patient with God and yourself.  God's timetable is rarely the same as ours.  You may feel frustrated with the seemingly slow progress you're making in life.  Remember that God is never in a hurry, but He is always on time. He will use your entire lifetime to prepare you for your role in eternity.
____________________

I love that:  Remember that God is never in a hurry, but He is always on time.  Just soak that sentence in.

I will keep Faith, moving forward doing the best that I can do every day, knowing that God has me exactly where I'm supposed to be.

 

I am ready.  Are you?



Being Kinder to myself

Why is it easier to be our own worst enemy rather than our own best friend? That's usually the way it goes...

For the past couple of weeks my weight loss has stalled. There for a while I was on roll with the weight coming off nicely. I wasn't counting calories, just eating primal and having sensible portions.  Somewhere I started veering off the path. I'm in no way making excuses but here's what I think happened (I need to own it in order to move on)...

 I decided to start tracking in MyFitnessPal. I plugged in that I wanted to lose 1.5 pounds a week and it told me that I could eat 1600 calories a day. That seemed like a lot, but I ate them, and my portions slowly started growing from what I had been eating. I'd watch the scale go up one day and down the next, basically I've been maintaining. I've recently adjusted MyFitnessPal to allow myself 1200 calories a day.

I've also been slacking on the exercise. One day off turned into another, turned into more than a week. I was starting to feel stiff again and I don't like it at all. Once you get out of exercising, it's so hard to get back at it. I was also getting discouraged that the scale wasn't moving and that didn't help with my motivation. I know how good I feel when I'm in the groove and exercising several times a week and I want that back again. I want that loose, flexible feeling of a healthy body. This morning I got up early and did a two mile walking video and this evening I'm going to go arm exercises. I know that a few days in and I'll start feeling great again.  I'm glad that I knew enough to get these two things in check.

I have been eating good though (other than too much). My fridge is packed with produce. I actually think I have more in there that I can eat before it goes bad. I'm still buying and making too much than one person can eat - especially when it's fresh perishable produce. I'm not going to buy anything else until I use up what I have.

I've been beating myself up about this stall for about a week now. I must be kinder to myself. I must focus on the positive:  I never give up, I'm learning more everyday (I'm thankful that I WANT to learn and am open-minded), I'm healthy despite being obese and don't take any medications, I'm making it on my own as a single woman and don't need a man to live off of, like many women I know, I have this blog community of amazing people for inspiration and support. Life is good. I'm being too hard on myself for a minor setback. I must learn to be my own best friend.

That being said, I weighed in at 227.8 this morning.  Let's see what I can accomplish this week :)

Cooking Weekend

 I felt like cooking a little this weekend. Since I'm alone, I usually don't feel like cooking that much, especially in the summer. I finally made the zucchini boats that I was talking about.  I stuffed them with ground chicken, tomatoes, mushrooms and topped with a mix of parmesan/asiago cheese. They are really good. I'll be eating them for my lunch all week.

 

 

 

I also made steak salad with blue cheese crumbles and balsamic dressing (drool). I could eat this every day.

I finally made the egg muffins that Gwen recommended. I made mine with chorizo, green pepper, onion and sharp cheddar on top. Delish! This will be my quick breakfast all this week. I put a couple in the freezer. Wasn't sure about freezing eggs but wth, I'll give it a try. Does anyone know if you can freeze this kind of stuff?

 

My daughter is away on vacation so I have to go over and feed/check on/play with her cats this evening. She is having a neighbor do it 5 days and I only have to go over twice since I'm 25 minutes away.

 

I also need to adjust MyFitnessPal this evening to cut back my calories. I have it set for me to lose 1.5 pounds a week and it's allowing me 1600 calories/day which seems like way too many. I'm going to bump it up to 2 pounds a week so it cuts my calories back.

 

That's it for now, not much going on.  Make it a great day.

Saturday Randomness

I was up early this morning and out the door. I hit several thrift shops and didn't find much other than a couple old books, I like using them to decorate around the house. I did treat myself to a new necklace and earrings (not from thrift store).

There is a drive going on here for school supply donations for needy kids, so I went to Walmart and got 4 bags of supplies for only $10. They are having a massive sale.

I finally went to the food coop that is basically an organic grocery store.  They sell mostly local produce and eggs. It is a cool place but SUPER expensive, especially for a single person like me.  I only bought a container of rainbow grape tomatoes, fennel, and local eggs. It's a neat store but I highly doubt I'll go there again.

I haven't exercised in two weeks and I'm getting lazier with each passing day.  I keep saying that I'm going to and somehow I never manage to do it. Ugh! I feel so much better when I do, so why can't I make myself do it? I was tracking my food on My Fitness Pal, it recommended that I eat 1600 calories a day, but I think that's too many because my weight loss has stalled.  I was losing more weight before not tracking and just eating primal.  I gotta do some figuring. I think maybe I should be around 1300-1400.

That's it for now.  Hope everyone is having a relaxing weekend.

Finally Friday!

I'm so glad it's Friday - this has been along week. Work has finally returned to normal today.

Not much to report - I'm just plugging along. Last evening I went to the grocery store and stocked up. I feel so good grocery shopping now with only healthy items in my cart compared to how I used to shop before :)

I bought some nice steaks and have them marinating in the fridge for this evening. I'll have one tonight with some grilled zucchini and save the other for a steak salad for lunch tomorrow. I have a lot of zucchini that people have been giving me from their gardens so I think I'm going to make stuffed zucchini boats with ground turkey and random vegetables. Something different.

I tried to get in for a haircut this weekend but no available appointments but I am going to color my hair. I always feel nice and fresh afterwards. Not much planned this weekend, just taking it as it comes.

I'm going to treat myself to something this weekend - not sure what yet - but I'm getting something!

Have a great weekend everybody! :)