It's time to move on - away from this old life and on to what is waiting for me. I need to stop dwelling on the past and open myself up to something new. I thought I accepted change well; if so, why am I having such a hard time? I was fine until my DD moved out and I think that's what triggered all of these other feelings. I guess I feel like everyone I love is leaving me and those not-so-nice feelings of abandonment (even though I'm the one that left my ex). TIME TO MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!
After writing the "fake" letters to my mom and ex and having a few good cries, I feel better having gotten all of that emotion out. I know that I've gained a few more pounds but I haven't weighed in a few days, I can tell it in my clothes. I must force myself to eat right and exercise again so I can start feeling better with/about my body. I know it will help relieve stress and clear my mind, as well.
Last evening I changed my bedroom around. I have a king-size bed and there aren't too many ways to position it where I can have a nightstand beside it. The way that I had it I would walk into the side of my bed upon entering the room. It (my bed) was also right at the top of the staircase and was giving me bad vibes (and creeping me out) and wasn't good feng shui. I used to think that stuff was crap but now that I'm more "aware" I believe in it and I want to create a positive energy in my house. The way that I moved it now is much better and I even slept better last night instead of waking up several times a night like I used to, I think I only woke up once or twice. That was a chore moving a kind-size bed and dresser by myself but I managed to do it. :)
I hope to have much better things to report in the days to come. Let's make it a great day.
Hi SunnyD! I know you are going to figure all of this stuff out. It's good to confront those feelings. The thing is, you do have your own identity separate from being a mom, a wife, etc. Who is that person? Well, now is an exciting opportunity to figure that out. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry you're struggling, but it's smart to be taking the steps to help yourself out of it. I find writing to be very helpful in getting out the feelings inside.
ReplyDeleteHow fun to rearrange the bedroom! (I wouldn't mind doing that, but like yours, there's limited arrangements that will work.)
So...what's next??
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about the struggling part,
but I know you will get past it & move on.
Remember that there is ALWAYS a light
at the end of EVERY tunnel!
Just keep moving forward....keep that SUNNY disposition alive!
Feng shui definitely rocks. I've had amazing life changes by moving stuff around. It's really cool, too, if you do the house chart and see all the areas--career, love, etc., and follow ideas to increase the energy in those areas. You can pick up some books from the library.
ReplyDeleteYou will get past it, but we're emotional beings, so there's a lot to process on the journey.
I'm an empty nester too, and it's very hard especially in the beginning. I actually got down to goal and then started regaining when my son married a woman from another state and moved away. I definitely felt abandoned but also guilty because I wanted him to be happy. Hang in there. It does get easier with time.
ReplyDelete